I knew this moment would come.......

I knew this moment would come.  We're in the middle of getting ready for a trip and now this moment has come.

Chris and I took Liz and her husband James, to dinner tonight.  We had a great time catching up on news.  They've been away for about two weeks now and Liz's birthday was coming up, so we took them both to dinner.

On the way home, however, we reflected on how the kids were growing up.  I don't usually pay much mind to the kids growing up as they've been in and out of the house for the past few years that I never really gave it much notice.  But tonight, for some reason, it hit me.

This deep,... profound...., sense of loss came over me.  It was the loss of my children.  They've all grown up and out of the house.  I no longer have my children to entertain me.  I no longer have my children to keep me busy.  I no longer have my children to shield me from the world, ...or.....to open the world up for me.  I no longer have those smiling eyes, giggling laughter, incessant chatter, or those hugs and kisses that were freely given.

As I had watched my kids grow with each passing year, I made it a point to realize for myself especially, that I don't OWN these kids, I'm their guardian and teacher.  So with each passing year, I watched them grow, gaining new experiences and learning from sometimes,  painful lessons.  I watched them go through each of the different stages in their lives from tying  their shoes, to going out on dates.  I've been proud of the kids as they've come through all their experiences.

Sure,...it's been tough in some areas, but we all made it through. And they've all come out the other side of ''teenage-hood'' and have found their footing in life, to become adults now.

And now, for some reason, out of the blue,... I sit here,.... reflecting on the times past.  And it hit me, ....that I no longer have children, I now have adults,...who have gone on to living their own lives and gaining their own experiences.  They no longer want to BE with their parents.  They only want to VISIT their parents.  They don't want to live with us or be a part of our lives anymore.  That doesn't mean they're not interested, just that they don't want to live with us anymore.  My children have flown the coop!

Liz, turns 23 this year.  And I guess with her being the baby of the family, this has given me pause to reflect.  I gave her a hug and almost got a hug out of James.  Yes, it's hard letting go.  I thought it would be easy, but it's not.  And once again, growth is happening.....not only for them, but for me.